Praying in your own Fashion

Posted by admin on Jul 19, 2010 in health | 4 comments

Every Sunday morning I go for a run and pray. As I’m in the middle of Mother Nature, witnessing her spectacular beauty, I say thanks for being strong and healthy enough to run the six or seven miles. For all the amazing opportunities that came into my life that week. For my home, food, and ability to give back.

I visualize how I want certain events in my life to unfold. I say a blessing for my family and friends. And I think of the ways life has challenged me and wonder what I learned from it. This is how I pray. This is my church.

Every now and again, a cyclist will come by shouting “On your left!” It usually startles me so much, I instantly want to jump in their way, completely defeating the purpose of the interruption to my prayer. I scowl and wonder if that person would do the same thing as they enter a pew in a church. “On your left! Don’t move Grandma!” I doubt it. But I’m pretty sure they don’t realize I’m praying so I forget it and whisper a big “thank you” to the cyclists who don’t shout at me.

On my run yesterday I was startled like never before. I got back into my picturesque suburban neighborhood with golf courses and sprinklers foutaining over big lawns. A man was walking his dog unleashed. It was a giant lab that dashed over to me and jumped on me. I shook my finger at it and shouted “Down!” To which the owner said, “He’s ok. You don’t have to act crazy!”

I replied gently saying that I’ve had dogs bite me before, so I don’t like to take the chance. And he replied “Just keep running you crazy woman!”

I was completely taken back. I said he should have his dog on a leash if it jumps on people. He said “Go away and God Bless!”

“So you want to bring God into this? Why?” I asked.

“I went to church today,” he said. “You should try it.”

This hit me like a bricks. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to reply “Not if it teaches me to behave like you!” Part of me wanted to explain that I was in church. Instead I said some stupid thing like “Yah, well, you should go back!”

By now his dog was in the middle of someone’s golf game and he had to run after it. And I went home, for the first time ever, fearful of my neighbors.

I have lived in some very rough neighborhoods in Washington DC and in London and not once did I have a person on the street harass me. I saw a lot of things on those streets, but never a stranger calling me names or casting judgement. I was suddenly glancing out my windows, locking down everything, keeping the phone close.

My views on religion and spirituality are topics I avoid on my blog. They are a personal choice and a privilege. My ancestors sacrificed and had to live underground to celebrate their religion how they see fit. Because of them and so many others, we get the sweet freedom of choice.

However you pray, be proud of it. Please don’t judge others if they found a different path. As long as we’re all heading in the same direction, does it matter? At the end of the day, it’s what is inside of us that counts. Not who sees us in church.

My Bare Minerals Discovery!

Posted by admin on May 3, 2010 in health | 1 comment

A while back I popped into this a little boutique where everyone was gobbling up this make-up called Bare Minerals. It was a revolving door of women lapping it up. I witnessed one customer transform from drab to glowing with a few quick swirls of a brush in magic powder and was determined to try it myself.

So I trucked down there on Saturday completely make-up free, looking a bedraggled from my long weeks of designing and developing. I plunked down in the chair telling the shop owner she has her work cut out for her (it was another 4:30am morning and it showed).

She carefully selected some colors, cleaned her brushes and went to work. I dearly wish I snapped before and after pictures. Well, I probably wouldn’t dare show the “before”, but the “after” looked HAWT. Natural, radiant and warm. And it barely felt as if I had any make-up on at all. An absolute miracle.

Of course, I purchased the lot. But they make it real simple to do with their Getting Started Kits that include everything you need including brushes and a DVD. The key are the brushes – which I never realized were such magical wands (the one feeble brush in my make-up bag is proof of that). And don’t be fooled by the powder. Yes, it’s powder but it goes on so smooth and creamy and light. It’s amazing that so little does such great coverage.

Ok, now I’m starting to sound like their infomercial. Yes, I’m hooked on the stuff. It’s part of my annual goal of looking younger than the year before. And with my new app launching this week, I’ll get to say goodbye to the 5am mornings for awhile too!

The Meditation Medicine Cure All

Posted by admin on Mar 15, 2010 in health | 4 comments

Last year I was meditating on a regular basis, making a nice little habit of it. I read books about it, dedicated at least 10 minutes each morning and life was really groovy. I had clarity, focus and balance. Things were really going my way. Then for no particular reason I stopped.

Life slowly became more overwhelming. Decisions were harder to make. I felt pressure. I woke in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep. Life simply didn’t have the pizazz as before. Of course, I knew I had to start meditating again but I always came up with an excuse.

Then last Monday night I popped in to a free meditation session our local yoga studio. Starving for that euphoric clear headed bliss, I was eager to jump right in. Our outstanding instructor talked us through it, helping us clear our heads. And when she finished and the room was pure silence, I was astonished how instantly my head went clear. My heart filled with love. I was enveloped in peace. That night I slept like never before.

I have meditated every day since and I’m already feeling the positive effects. I sleep better. My mood is a gazillion times better. I feel peaceful, optimistic and in sync with the universe. That instant deep meditation I had at the yoga studio hasn’t happened again. I’m guessing that’s because I felt the power in numbers. It makes a difference to meditate in groups. I do manage to dip below the noise into a peaceful calm for a few minutes each day. And during those minutes of silence I can feel the space in between where life connects.

I promised myself that I would meditate daily for at least three weeks. It takes that long for it to transform into a habit. And this is one habit I never want to kick again.

Mid-Winter Blues Attack

Posted by admin on Jan 25, 2010 in health | 2 comments

The wind is howling outside my window with a view of an icy white tundra. Everything is frozen. The snow is dirty, hard, and still piled too high for us to get to the mailbox. In the past weeks we endured insane blizzards making us scoop snow for hours, subzero temps that have locked inside for days, power outages, and ice storms. We don’t go out and we’re going a bit crazy staying in. Yes, winter is here with a vengeance this year.

At first I was enjoying a change of routine, the early evenings in, running in extreme temps. But now I just want to go for a walk without my back hunched and toes frozen. I want to hear bird song and feel sunshine on my skin.

This is our third Dakota winter and with each year we get a little better at the survival game. We make sure we take our vitamins — plenty of fish oil and vitamin C. We invest in super warm running clothes and ice grippers for our shoes so we can continue to get exercise. We figured out the importance of scooping snow BEFORE you drive on it. Saturday matinees, baking scones, taking warm baths, investing in a hot water bottle, and of course, building an insanely cool home theater helps.

February is just around to the corner, ending this longest, coldest month of the year. With it comes the Olympics, our anniversary, and a short break to Austin. I can do this. I can make it through a -30 below, two feet of snow, everything frozen and closed down winter. Because as they say, “There are two seasonal diversions that can ease the bite of any winter. One is the January thaw. The other is the seed catalogues.”

Secret to Treating Sleep Problems

Posted by admin on Nov 10, 2009 in health | 1 comment

It was 2:00am when my brother rang me to tell me Dad passed away. I was already half-awake — I just zombie walked a trip to the loo. Colin answered the phone and when he said it was my brother, my first thought was that they had their baby a few weeks early. But the look on his face when he handed me the phone quickly told me otherwise.

I more or less had sleep problems since then. Sometimes they would go away, but for the most part I would wake up at 2:00am on the dot. I tried all sorts of things. We got a new bed, no luck. I quit caffeine which seemed to help some. I began to wear eye blinds and ear plugs. I kept a Gratitude Journal. That helped.

A friend of mine who has also been battling sleep problems recently posted on Facebook that her journaling has cured her for three days straight. Every night or morning, whichever you prefer, you write down everything that riddles you in the night. And go deep to the route of the cause. Why is it bothering you? Is there something deeper? Get it all out and on paper.

I haven’t tried the journaling yet because miraculously these last few weeks my sleep has been better than ever. By 9pm I can’t keep my eyes open any longer and I’m zonked out with lucid filled dreams until 7am. A solid ten hours. I even ditched the ear plugs. Part of me doesn’t like admitting this because it’s sort of up there with people who brag about eating anything they want and not gaining an ounce.

I have my recent job change to thank. I started working from home a few weeks ago. I have a lovely office with big windows overlooking our street below. I get to see suburbia life at it’s fullest – delivery trucks, lawn services, dog walkers. But most of all I get daylight. Something I didn’t have a lick of for years in cublicle-land. It’s amazing how much my body responds to natural sunlight.

My 2:00am What-if’s may return and if they do, I have a pen and notebook waiting to fight them off! I leave you now with a poem that would rumble through my head during those early waking hours.

Whatif by Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I’m dumb in school?
Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there’s poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don’t grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won’t bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Maggie Doyne: The Power of Yes!

Posted by admin on Sep 17, 2009 in happiness, health, wealth | 7 comments

Maggie Doyne came into my life through a casual email from my life coach. The message read, “Don’t you wish all our daughters grew up like this?” and a link to her blog. I quickly tucked in and found myself entrenched in her stories for hours. She is an old soul in a young body, filled with wisdom beyond her years. Personally I think she’s a philosopher reincarnated.

At just the tender age of 19, Maggie founded Kopila Valley Children’s Home in Nepal. It is home to innocent victims orphaned by years of human rights violations and war. Using her own babysitting money, she purchased the land, organized the contractors, and build the home entirely from the ground up. Through her work, Maggie has given shelter to 24 kids, sent 60 others to school, and assisted in the placement of over 700 orphans in the region.

It all started when Maggie took off to see the world after high school. While trekking through the Himalayas in war-torn Nepal she met hundreds of children orphaned and homeless. Falling in love with their big smiles and bright eyes, she was stricken by what little they survived on. She flew back to the States and babysat kids, plants, animals (you name it!) and saved each cent with a vision of building them a home.

Maggie found the Blinknow Foundation and is the recent recipient of Do Something’s $100,000 grand prize. In her speech, Maggie breathlessly says:

“Sometimes making someone’s dream come true is a “yes” away. Thank you, Do Something, for being my ‘yes’ tonight!”

Maggie’s brave adventure started with a “yes” from her parents years ago which created a chain reaction, eventually evolving into a career of social entrepreneurship at just 22-years-old. Today Maggie is tackling human rights issues in the region, improving the lives of children affected by violence, child labor, sex trafficking, and poverty.

Maggie’s story reflects two of my favorite theories. First is that each of us have everything we need to make a difference (Maggie had ambition and $5000 in savings). Second, if we give back the universe will continue to provide us with abundance (congrats on the $100K, Maggie!). This makes Kopila Valley Children’s Home one of my favorite charities. If you like what you read, be Maggie’s “yes” and consider a donation. There are a lot of ways you can help.

Friends, please welcome the amazing and insightful Maggie Doyne….

What inspired you to build Kopila Valley Children’s Home? How has it affected your life?

It’s a really long story that can be hard to condense in a few words. My life took a 360 degree turn when I was just about to graduate from high school. I had a bit of a seventeen year old crisis. Who am I?… What should I do with my life?… That sort of thing. I had spent my middle school and high school obsessed with trying to be perfect at everything. Getting the perfect grades, trying to be a star athlete, the editor of my yearbook, a good friend, daughter, and sister, social light. I took on more than I could handle and with the intention of getting into a really good college and getting on the fast track. It turned out I wasn’t perfect at any of those things and trying to be perfect at all of them took a toll on every part of who I was. I could see my life going in a direction I didn’t want it too.

I could see myself going straight to college and falling deeper into this dark hole of doing what I was supposed to do, what everyone expected but not what was really in my heart. I’d lost my passion to learn. Thanks to the support of my parents I was lucky see this and recognize it in myself at a young age. I suddenly postponed my plans for college and signed up for a gap year program to backpack all around different of the world. After taking an internship in an orphanage in India, I began to meet young Nepali refugee children and became curious as to where they were coming from and why. I ended up going on a backpacking trip with a young Nepli refugee girl in search of her relatives in the remote Himalyan mountains of Nepal where I met hundreds of children in need of a home. I decided right then and there to build one for them.

You write quite endearing letters to the children in your home on your blog. What have you learned the most from them?

They’ve taught me the value of human life and the importance of childhood. I’ve learned alot about the healing process. They are the true definition of resilience. They make me laugh and they’ve brought so much joy and meaning to my life. We’ve really become a family over the past few years.

What was your biggest challenge when building the Kopila Valley Children’s Home?

During the early phases of construction and settling in with the community, I hadn’t learned a lot of the language. Losing your ability to communicate leaves you feeling pretty vulnerable. Sometimes I’d have an English speaking friend come and translate and other times I was completely on my own, with masons, laborers, and villagers that I couldn’t fully communicate with. The first few months were hard but I got through it. Looking back being in that vulnerable position of not knowing/understanding (what people around me were saying), and desperately wanting to know/understand, empowered me to learn more quickly and in a more meaningful and deep manner. I took Spanish for 7 years in middle school and high school and still can’t string a sentence together but Nepali came pretty easily to me. You can’t get by here without being able to speak the language and I was almost forced to learn to speak. I realize now that if I was never challenged, if I had never felt frustrated about not being able to communicate, I would have never learned.

Your website states that your mission is “To create a self-sustainable living community for destitute children that provides their most basic needs and also contributes to post-war recovery and peace in the nation of Nepal.” This seems like an overwhelming challenge. How do you stay focused with such a large task?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is this.

If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.

chinese philospher – lao-tse – 6th century bce

I focus every day the sanctity of our home and making sure that my children feel safe and loved. I’ve noticed that the peace in our home and the joy of our children often radiates to our neighbors and our village, the city we live in and people who come to visit from other countries in the world.

Children are the future. When our world’s children are educated, when they’re given childhoods, and love and a home, and enough food to eat, they grow up to share that with others and create peaceful homes of their own. The model for our home works because it is just that; a home with family living in it who love each other very very much. When I feel overwhelmed with the big picture of the world or the political situation in Nepal, or the extreme poverty I see around me I stop and try to focus on the smaller things that I know are in my control. Bathing my children, trimming their fingernails, cooking a meal together, and reading a bed time story. Then my heart feels peaceful again and then I can keep going.

Kopila Valley Children’s Home currently has 28 children and is continually growing. Who else has the home helped besides the children?

We had over 250 members from the local community employed to build the home. Six or so women stayed on with us as our permanent staff. We’ve been able to enroll almost 100 children into school.

You recently won $100,000 from The Do Something Awards. How do you intend to use this well deserved prize?

We are purchasing a larger plot of land and building our very own school. I’m striving to make it one of the best most innovative schools in Nepal providing quality education to poor children who normally wouldn’t have a chance to go to school and receive an education. Part of the school will also be a community center with a medical clinic, vocational training, art and music open to the children in and around our village.

You seem to be blessed with an entrepreneurial mind – how did you find yourself on this path?

Well I give a lot of the props to my amazing parents who, since I was a little girl have always, always encouraged my heart, and told me
that I could do anything I put my mind to and believed in me.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when all of this startedto be very honest. I was 19 years old and had this “nothing can stop me” mindset. If I saw it in my mind, I knew I could make it happen. I had a dream of building this home for homeless and orphaned children. I could see it, in my mind before I even had a dollar in the bank account and the funds to build it, before I even knew what a non-profit was. I could see the children playing on the swings and being tucked into bed at night, and eating meals and singing songs together. I visualized what I wanted my life and the lives of my children too look like. I took things a step at a time, a day at a time. When I didn’t know the answers I found someone who did and asked them. I learned to share my dream, vision, and what was in my heart with others. Before I knew it, I was supported and embraced by people from my close-knit community in Mendham, NJ where I’m from and then people from all over the world who cared as well.

Who and what inspires you?

The children I live with, the men and women I have the pleasure of working with here in Nepal, my neighbors and friends, my parents, my two sisters Kate and Libby, Mary Oliver, Maya Angelou, my friend Megan Shull, The Dalai Lama, art, music, writing, and being outside.

What would be your advice for someone who wants to make their dream a reality?

The hardest step to take is to begin. You just have to take the dive. For young people who want to start a project for social good in the world. Two words. Do. Something. Go to dosomething.org. They’ve written up a whole guide there on how to get started with a project and they just awarded me $100,000 to fund my next project and continue onwards with my dream.

What’s your motto?

One of my favorite new saying that I’ve heard being used a lot lately is GLOBAL COMMUNITY! The world is changing. We’re not isolated from each other any more like we used to be, mainly because of advancements in technology and transportation. We are one. We’re all the same sharing this great big earth together and we all have a responsibility to it as global citizens of this earth and to borrow from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

If you could meet anyone in the world dead or alive who would it be and what would say to them?

I’d be thrilled to spend some time with Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, the pulitzer prize winning journalist Nicholas Kristof, and his wife (and pulitzer prize winner too), Sheryl WuDunn. I am sooo excited to get my hands on their new book Half the Sky, and am inspired by the work all three of them do but geesh there are so many amazing people in the world, I think we can learn something from anyone, from simple Nepali farmers, to pulitzer prize winning journalists, everyone has something to share.

What next do you have planned?

If I have learned one thing as of late it’s to not get too ahead of things, so yes, on the short term I have a list a mile long which includes four very active and playful four year olds, and a houseful of 26 hearts who need tending. That said, I have some big dreams sketched out that include a school for my kids and our community here in Surkhet, as well as continuing to be a sustainable and positive member of this community. I believe in the power of all of us working together to change the world for the better. One of my dreams is to create safe homes and communities for children all over the world in need of refuge. My heart is full and the future is exciting. There is so much, still, to do.